Weeklong Rant (the evil week without internets)

i copypasta all this from wordpad
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i am very bored, its 5 in the morning and i have no internets. ive been going thru all my cds to see whats on them and to see if they work. most of them are music most of which are scratched. some of them still work. i want to poke my former self in the eye for listening to such bad music. i blame the canadians and much music (canadian music tv) for poisoning the well that was my ears. canada isnt all bad, theres nutella, and stargate, oh, and nabby<3
hmmmm
i have no one to filter my thoughts thru, now matter how little they care or arent listening, this will be posted on my blog later
powpowpowpowpowpowpowpow
ru reading this?
meheheheheheh
i wrote myself a note, then reminded myself in the note that it was myself who was writing this note to make paddy (different from fady) a video with plastic lady wraith queens in it, after it reminded me of it. im still not over the whole plastic thing, because does that mean im a plastic fiend too since i like the wraithy boys? this is all going to be placed on my blog later, when i have the internets back. i think someone (powpow) might read this blog, and muslims just like george washington cant tell a lie right? so she is probably reading it, and hating me, sorry pow, u can keel me laterz.
so i thought i would jot some of my ideas for like, movies or video games or books that i think would be awesome, it could even be a trilogy of movie/video game/books. that would be wins
one of my ideas is based off a nightmare that i used to have and sometimes still do in variations, it involves being trapped in a very tall office building. each level/story of the building has something weird or horrible or interesting in it. i cant wake from the dream until i get to the top of the building or out somehow. there really wouldnt be any characters in this other than the main character who is trying to get out of their building/nightmare but there would be various disembodied voices or maybe even creatures but the whole scary thing about it is that your alone. also the various floors are like puzzles that you have to get thru/solve/survive to get to the next one and the elevator is very wonky and frightening.
it seems that i had alot more ideas when i started this, so maybe theyll flow back laterz.
now i remember (it took about 3 minutes after saying i dont remember, to remember btw)
when i was in it, im not sure it was, it might have been sassy, was talking about a true crime/murder in pakistan in which a man killed children and put them under his house or something like that. i think that in itself would make a great movie/book but i would really want to add something to it to make it different from every other true crime type of story. first off, this murderer is not truely a man, he is not a monster, nor an alien, but not something quite human either. he has been alive for over 100 years, and must feed on children or their life energies somehow to remain alive. he is almost a legend or a myth until fbi agents from the us come to pakistan to hunt down a terrorist only to find themselfs being told this myth/legend over and over again and begin to investigate. the first agent i would name "boz" mcsasserson. a mix of names from the it room. i dont have a name for the second agent yet. boz can either be a girl or a guy because its a nickname. there is a desert type area that is being built on that i think would be a great place for filming if only i had a camera i knew how to work and someone to play the other agent. others could just be voiced off screen. i could play either boz or the other agent, and we never need to see the killer because whenever you see a killer in the movie it kind of ruins it for me at least if its slightly in the horror/sci fi direction.
these are my two major ideas for now
ive actually been reading a book, omg i know. and no im not on page 2 im almost to page 300, yeh i know omg its like my first book since i was like 15. i used to read when i was sick all the time, im not sick now but theres people that i like to avoid so i go into my room and read. it was really all by accident that i found this book. its called the haj, its fiction, but more like historical fiction based around the creation of israel. so basically its a book about middle eastern politics but without the total dryness because theres tons of family dynamics from the main tribal characters which makes it really interesting. anyways, how i found this book was me and my mom went shopping at the thrift store like we do all the time, i got tired and sat down in front of the used books. i scanned them looking for something cool like sci fi or true crime and at first i looked at a book about indonesia and wondered if kimdonesia would like it but kimdonesia doesnt like ME and probably wouldnt like any book from me either. then i was struck by the haj, which i know in arabic is the pilgramige of islam to mecca and madinah. my mom had already left and i ran out to get the 75 cents needed to pay. i swear its the best money ive ever spent, its even a first edition signed copy. ill have my full "review" when im done reading it. ive already got my eyes set on the next book i want to read, 1984, by george orwell (not that 'fake' george orwell hanging around on fb) ehehehe :)
im sure if i can make it thru a over 500 page book that 1984 will be no problem as my mom said that everyone in school used to have to read it during her time.
thats all thats in my mind at the moment. yes this has been one big run on sentence without proper puncuation of caps, but i hate all that stuff, and everyone rights like this on the internets, so deal with it or bite me (unless your infected with zombism or vampirism or aids)
ps. never meet your heros
reminder to self (christina) - change name on fb to fake one for the lulz
i suppose i should be happy to be alive, though there are worse ways to go than carbon monoxide poisoning. i hear you drift off to sleep, and being asleep in the first place i probably would have died in the first place. funny how my mom rushed to check on my grandma to see if she was ok but convieniently "forgot" to check on me because she didnt want to disturb me from my nap. uhhhh, heres where captain obvious makes a visit, when you go check on someone to see if theyre alive or not you dont worry about disturbing them from their possible DEAD state of being. after several hours of not checking on me my mom casualing meanders into my room while im watching a movie on the comp and tells me the whole story. my brain compresses and files the facts before running into the main part of the house and screaming about my babies (cats) , who are thnx God all ok. after giving them all a million kisses i xplain to my mom the situation of who cares if im asleep if i might be dead in the first place. cpt obvious doesnt visit my mom very often, or if he does she just doesnt care. now onto who turned and left the gas on in the first place (subject zero). as the resident non expert on everything it took some xplaining that this couldnt occur by accident (maybe by xtreme forgetfullness) and that somebody had to turn the gas on and then leave it on. it was easy to eliminate me because i was the one sleeping all day. my grandma cant walk well and wouldnt have gone to the kitchen to cook anything. my mom was at work all day and wouldnt have been near the buttons/knobs/thingies. this leaves my much hated aunt sharon. shes a coniving witch who hides the bottom parts of the cinnimon toast crunch (the best part) and gives pumpkin milk and dairy products when i ask her not to coz it makes her sick. there are too many wrongs to list here. so why would she want to kill my grandma (her mom)? maybe shes tired of feeling obligated to visit an elderly sick mother, or maybe she wants to make it look like i did it all murder/suicide like because she does hate me that much and then much hatage would be put on my post mortom self by my other "family" members who hate my premortom self and would just love proof that im as awful as i think i am. my mom thinks the theory is bogus and that her stomach bumped the knob/control thing on the gas xcept from what she xplained of the mechanisms thats not how it works and it has safeguards to keep that kind of accident from happening no matter how obese the stomach. accident or assassination, you decide.

The kids are not alright

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090927/ap_on_re_us/us_more_school
I'm not going to run down the street yelling THE GOVERNMENT IS TAKING OUR KIDS AWAY OMG!! Especially since I don't have any. I do have a personal interest in this though because I hated school, not because I hated learning, but because I was constantly bothered by the other children. Its not just me either, this is the reasons school shootings happen. Now Obama, who I've always liked btw, wants us to go to school MORE. I'm going all Nam flashback here with what a horrible time I had and how it completely ruined my life. Kids barely get to spend enough time with their parents as it is. Parents dont understand their kids and kids dont understand their parents. One of the reasons listed is that so poorer children's parents won't have to worry about feeding them. Thats AWFUL. This is so much bigger than handing kids over to strangers to be taken care of because some people are too neglectful to take care of them. This is about people who shouldnt have had kids in the first place. Getting pregnant is easier than buying a car, a house, or saving for retirement. It doesn't take any thought to have kids, and thats not right. There should be a process that people go through, the same kind of process that one goes through to adopt a child, to make sure that you are suited to having children. I know I'm not suited to have a child, and I'm not going to, no matter what kind of pressure different people put on me saying that because I'm a woman I should have this kind of natural instinct to. I might have the natural instinct to pee in the middle of a grocery store because I have to go but I'm going to hold it until I get home because peeing in public is disgusting and harmful to others. Same with me or yous mutant child being pushed onto society. So heres the short of it. World: Stop having so many kids, take care of the ones you have.

Libre!!!

I got my drivers license re-instated today. I was nervous and excited at the same time, I haven't driven since i was 19, I'm now 21. Ever since I started having dizzy spells and falling down I felt it was good that I did not drive and my heart DR also agreed that I shouldn't be on the road. But after several medication changes I've no longer been having them for several months now, and I feel I'll be safe on the road again. My mom handed me the keys to drive home and I was giddy and nervous but in a good way. I figure maybe I'll drive like an old lady for a while before I end up getting used to it again. But really this is so liberating feeling as I'll be able to take myself out to dinner and the movies and such without my mom getting annoyed about having to drive me everywhere. I plan on saving for a car and getting one in a few months, just something cheap that runs ok.

I will still remember you

So I found alot of old stuff today and last night. I was going thru my accessories drawer and i took everything out and at the bottom their were letters from people who used to be my friends. It is a sad and happy memory at the same time. I cried when I read the letter my other grandma sent me, she died when I was 15. I smiled when I read letters from my friend in poland, who was force drafted into the army of poland and I never heard from him again. He was my friend for quite along time when I was a kid. I read a letter from a boy I was friends with from 4th grade til I was about 11. It reminds me of some of the good times, but also reminds me of how alone I feel now. I wonder how my life might be if these people were still in my lives. I found a cd that mzos (polish friend) sent me, it has all this music from rammstein and other bands that I like, because of him I discovered and like these bands, so I'm happy I found it. I even found a letter from crystal from when I was like 14, when we were just beginning to be friends ,and she was my friend up until last month. That would probably be the longest friendship I ever had. I miss all these people with all my heart and they all took a piece of my heart with them when they left me, and part of me died each time. I still love all of you.

We r not alone

http://www.news4jax.com/nationalnews/21013004/detail.html
more proof that we r not alone. they r watching our actions, we r not showing them good actions. missile launch = bad

obligatory caturday post

its caturday, but im not happy, i miss the one i called my homeboi. i miss clear. the only two people in the world that i thought i could call my friends, who i thought would never hate me, or leave me. i truly feel alone in the world, with all its 6 billion people, none of them knows me, loves me, or cares.
heres a cat, i miss him, his name was whiskers, i lost him in may of this year, but it seems like forever.

Pretty Ugly

Does my modified self look better? Or is it just putting lipstick on a pig.